To blame another for your problems is refuse to accept responsibility for your own life. It’s an attempt at a free pass, to not be blamed for any wrong you do. You attempt to pass blame to someone else for your mistakes while allowing the memory of that person to run your life. They live rent free in your head. Their imagined looks, thoughts, and conversations taking place in your head effecting your daily decisions.
You become a slave to the memory of that person long after the event is long past.
To hold hatred in your heart against another is to give up that god given agency and freedom we all have, not to your offender but to the devil himself who will use that hatred to ruin your life, while you convince your self that you are a life long victim and your life will never be what it could of been. And so you settle for less. You accept failure in your life. You believe you are who you are because others made you that way. You cease to become more than what you are. You cease to progress and to grown. Life goes on around you while this anchor roots you to the past. Your life becomes the literal definition of damnation. An existence without progression, growth, or change.
So it is time to move on.
Time to let go. Let grieving happen when grieving is appropriate and then let go. Accept responsibility for your own actions, for your own life. Make your life what you wish it to be. There is no cliff to high to scale, no hole to deep to climb out of. No obstacle that cannot be overcome. Gods is the power to move mountains and mountains he will move for his children. Mountains he will move for you.